Saturday, July 07, 2007

Grad school - When to pursue.

It is going to be a year since I hit grad school. Before that for 3 long years, I was bitten by the software industry bug. With my masters at a half way thru', I took time to look back at these years (3 yrs of s/w industry after undergrad and 1 year in grad school in CMU) and to look ahead what could be in store. Thought would share a few of these thoughts which could be applicable to many others out there.

It all starts during your last year in undergrad. A feeling like, let me work for a year or two, know what I am interested in and then think about what I shud do. In some sense this feeling can turn out to be a doomsday feeling or a wise one. Then, finally when you join ur work place, u begin to realise the reality - rather slowly. The initial days are always sugar coated. They make you feel elated, make you feel you make your own living and wat more with a more-than-enough amount of money being deposited into your bank account at the end of each month. After 6 months or so into the industry you realise what the hell are you doing. You look at the learning curve and pity the drastic decrease in slope. You look at whether you figured out what you want to do next and you get an answer which is a deep NO.

At the same time, your classmates who had set out their path on grad school send out their experiences (and learnings) via emails and this is when you realise something has got to be done. But, in the industry those first 6 months mark the end of honeymoon period. So it is just when you want to do something about your future, you get responsibilities and work in office. These responsibilities and work give you an illusion of learning but you will soon realise that they dont fit in the big scheme of things - like why you took a break before grad school. From then on, it is always an internal fight about the quality of time you spend. You badly want to take a few steps in the direction of ur future but you are always pulled back by the illusions that the software industry creates. Life starts to revolve around coding, bugs and night outs in office and trying to keep yourself motivated amidst these becomes an uphill task.

Few of them who find it difficult to be constantly self-motivated, do it by taking a few coaching classes that train them towards their dreams. Irrespective of how you tackle it, you find that you are always fighting against time. And when the exams are around, you figure out that you are under-prepared and need more time. But as luck would have it, it is when ur office pressure mounts. So many (including me) take a week or 2 break from office in the name of blah blah blah.. ( read as sickness/ meeting parents etc..) Then once the exams are done, when you actually get into the process of applying to the schools, you realise it is much more work and demands much more time than it requires now. These are the times when your time management skills get tested. And in extreme cases like mine, you quit office, complete your applying process and join back another firm and the turmoil continues.

And finally, when you get admits and decide on a school to go, you realise you had spent a long time (3 long years in my case) to do something that you could have done in the final year of your undergrad. And this rubs into you when you meet your to-be-classmates then. Every1 you meet is just out of their college or just with a year of experience. That is when you get a feeling that you probably missed the right boat. Agreed, these years of work ex give you more insights to reality. But the biggest question is, is it worth the 3 years? What good is this 3 years going to be?

May be, if one were to just do a Masters and get back to industry, there may be marginal difference in pay scales. But it would be way less than some1 who started out as a fresher in the industry in US and is now having 3 years of experience. Or may be, one may want to do a PhD. Then what sense does 3 years of industry experience help in. Probably, it makes you relate to things in reality a wee bit more. But again it is clearly not a case of 3 years worth.

So, what sense does it make to wait for a few years and then apply to grad school? In the hind sight, the benefits of applying fresh out of college weigh far more than that of applying with work ex. The only good that I can think of is, with work ex you would have tasted a bit of reality and probably the savings out of ur work ex can help you a bit in ur grad school if you dont have proper funding etc. On the other hand, you need to face a lot of difficulties in trying to apply to grad school once you started work. Motivation and time management amidst office pressure is the key. (And if you are from a typical Indian family society pressures also can mount. The more the number of years you spend before you start grad school the lesser will your parents approve you of doing a PhD. - Yes I am alluding to the right age of marriage in India)

I really wish, I had this wealth of knowledge when I was in my final year of college. Really dunno if I would have taken a different path but still this knowledge would have put things into perspective.

And yeah, I am almost in the similar situation now - in my last year of Masters and dreading when should I pursue my PhD. immediately or after some work ex? Whatever path I take, but just wish I dont have to write a blog like this one a few years down the line.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Having Choices - Good or Bad?

On my return journey today (I just returned back from Seattle) with all the time on earth and with no one around being interesting to look at or have a conversation, I was flipping through the e-pages of my unpublished blog, I found something interesting. To put it in just one line


Deciding amongst choices hasnt been my forte for sometime now.


I tried to rationalise why is it that I find it so difficult to make these choices? Is it that I am so indecisive or is it a normal nature of not-being-satisfied-with-what-u-get kinds.


Analysing on these lines, decisions can be classified as 3 categories.

The first category - the simple one - is either when u have no choices or when u have one choice outweighing over other ina ll respects. For instance when I had to choose a school in last Fall, CMU outweighed the other options i had.

The second category is when u know that u can always go back on ur choices with a little effort. For instance, I had to choose a program (both closely related) in CMU. But I knew that I can always switch between the programs with very little effort.

The third category is when u need to choose between 2 and when u know that neither of them is what u really want. For instance, now I have to choose an internship offer between two MNCs, neither being my first choice.


Of all three categories, if ur decision criteria is in first category do u really consider urself lucky? When one's decision falls in this category more often than not, the person complains about not having a better equivalent alternative. Afterall grass is always greener on the other side.

If ur decision falls in category 2, then I would call this as the safest position for any1. U know that u can always get back on the decision and is not going to cost u much. Probably this is the sweet spot between category 1 and 3. But if one cant make a decision between 2 choices that differ so little, does it say something about the decision making skills?

The worst of all is category 3. U know that u r making a decision which is half-hearted. More often than not, u have only one dream choice and that is ur first choice. Anything other than that is all the same. But to make a decision between the 2 unfavorables, u tend to find which is closer to ur dream choice and make the appropriate one. Then where lies the problem? The problem lies in making the decision 'how close is it' to the dream.

As solutions, few would say 'go by what ur heart says'; few others would say 'choose anything and keep trying for the dream'; yet few others would say 'do something as it doesnt really matter'. IMHO, all these schools of thought are either easier said than done or tantamounts to not doing proper justice to the choice u choose.

To find an answer to this riddle, one should ask why at all this category exists? It is because u always tend to have some expectations (that got translated from ur dream) and every1 doesnt meet the set expectations.

So will it all be fine if one doesnt have expectations/expect conservatively and go about with face-whatever-it-is attitude? Or having an attitude of chase-the-dream-till-u-attain-it no matter what injustice u do to current choices help?

These are best answered to urself and these answers is what will in some ways bring out the true character in u.