Saturday, July 07, 2007

Grad school - When to pursue.

It is going to be a year since I hit grad school. Before that for 3 long years, I was bitten by the software industry bug. With my masters at a half way thru', I took time to look back at these years (3 yrs of s/w industry after undergrad and 1 year in grad school in CMU) and to look ahead what could be in store. Thought would share a few of these thoughts which could be applicable to many others out there.

It all starts during your last year in undergrad. A feeling like, let me work for a year or two, know what I am interested in and then think about what I shud do. In some sense this feeling can turn out to be a doomsday feeling or a wise one. Then, finally when you join ur work place, u begin to realise the reality - rather slowly. The initial days are always sugar coated. They make you feel elated, make you feel you make your own living and wat more with a more-than-enough amount of money being deposited into your bank account at the end of each month. After 6 months or so into the industry you realise what the hell are you doing. You look at the learning curve and pity the drastic decrease in slope. You look at whether you figured out what you want to do next and you get an answer which is a deep NO.

At the same time, your classmates who had set out their path on grad school send out their experiences (and learnings) via emails and this is when you realise something has got to be done. But, in the industry those first 6 months mark the end of honeymoon period. So it is just when you want to do something about your future, you get responsibilities and work in office. These responsibilities and work give you an illusion of learning but you will soon realise that they dont fit in the big scheme of things - like why you took a break before grad school. From then on, it is always an internal fight about the quality of time you spend. You badly want to take a few steps in the direction of ur future but you are always pulled back by the illusions that the software industry creates. Life starts to revolve around coding, bugs and night outs in office and trying to keep yourself motivated amidst these becomes an uphill task.

Few of them who find it difficult to be constantly self-motivated, do it by taking a few coaching classes that train them towards their dreams. Irrespective of how you tackle it, you find that you are always fighting against time. And when the exams are around, you figure out that you are under-prepared and need more time. But as luck would have it, it is when ur office pressure mounts. So many (including me) take a week or 2 break from office in the name of blah blah blah.. ( read as sickness/ meeting parents etc..) Then once the exams are done, when you actually get into the process of applying to the schools, you realise it is much more work and demands much more time than it requires now. These are the times when your time management skills get tested. And in extreme cases like mine, you quit office, complete your applying process and join back another firm and the turmoil continues.

And finally, when you get admits and decide on a school to go, you realise you had spent a long time (3 long years in my case) to do something that you could have done in the final year of your undergrad. And this rubs into you when you meet your to-be-classmates then. Every1 you meet is just out of their college or just with a year of experience. That is when you get a feeling that you probably missed the right boat. Agreed, these years of work ex give you more insights to reality. But the biggest question is, is it worth the 3 years? What good is this 3 years going to be?

May be, if one were to just do a Masters and get back to industry, there may be marginal difference in pay scales. But it would be way less than some1 who started out as a fresher in the industry in US and is now having 3 years of experience. Or may be, one may want to do a PhD. Then what sense does 3 years of industry experience help in. Probably, it makes you relate to things in reality a wee bit more. But again it is clearly not a case of 3 years worth.

So, what sense does it make to wait for a few years and then apply to grad school? In the hind sight, the benefits of applying fresh out of college weigh far more than that of applying with work ex. The only good that I can think of is, with work ex you would have tasted a bit of reality and probably the savings out of ur work ex can help you a bit in ur grad school if you dont have proper funding etc. On the other hand, you need to face a lot of difficulties in trying to apply to grad school once you started work. Motivation and time management amidst office pressure is the key. (And if you are from a typical Indian family society pressures also can mount. The more the number of years you spend before you start grad school the lesser will your parents approve you of doing a PhD. - Yes I am alluding to the right age of marriage in India)

I really wish, I had this wealth of knowledge when I was in my final year of college. Really dunno if I would have taken a different path but still this knowledge would have put things into perspective.

And yeah, I am almost in the similar situation now - in my last year of Masters and dreading when should I pursue my PhD. immediately or after some work ex? Whatever path I take, but just wish I dont have to write a blog like this one a few years down the line.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Having Choices - Good or Bad?

On my return journey today (I just returned back from Seattle) with all the time on earth and with no one around being interesting to look at or have a conversation, I was flipping through the e-pages of my unpublished blog, I found something interesting. To put it in just one line


Deciding amongst choices hasnt been my forte for sometime now.


I tried to rationalise why is it that I find it so difficult to make these choices? Is it that I am so indecisive or is it a normal nature of not-being-satisfied-with-what-u-get kinds.


Analysing on these lines, decisions can be classified as 3 categories.

The first category - the simple one - is either when u have no choices or when u have one choice outweighing over other ina ll respects. For instance when I had to choose a school in last Fall, CMU outweighed the other options i had.

The second category is when u know that u can always go back on ur choices with a little effort. For instance, I had to choose a program (both closely related) in CMU. But I knew that I can always switch between the programs with very little effort.

The third category is when u need to choose between 2 and when u know that neither of them is what u really want. For instance, now I have to choose an internship offer between two MNCs, neither being my first choice.


Of all three categories, if ur decision criteria is in first category do u really consider urself lucky? When one's decision falls in this category more often than not, the person complains about not having a better equivalent alternative. Afterall grass is always greener on the other side.

If ur decision falls in category 2, then I would call this as the safest position for any1. U know that u can always get back on the decision and is not going to cost u much. Probably this is the sweet spot between category 1 and 3. But if one cant make a decision between 2 choices that differ so little, does it say something about the decision making skills?

The worst of all is category 3. U know that u r making a decision which is half-hearted. More often than not, u have only one dream choice and that is ur first choice. Anything other than that is all the same. But to make a decision between the 2 unfavorables, u tend to find which is closer to ur dream choice and make the appropriate one. Then where lies the problem? The problem lies in making the decision 'how close is it' to the dream.

As solutions, few would say 'go by what ur heart says'; few others would say 'choose anything and keep trying for the dream'; yet few others would say 'do something as it doesnt really matter'. IMHO, all these schools of thought are either easier said than done or tantamounts to not doing proper justice to the choice u choose.

To find an answer to this riddle, one should ask why at all this category exists? It is because u always tend to have some expectations (that got translated from ur dream) and every1 doesnt meet the set expectations.

So will it all be fine if one doesnt have expectations/expect conservatively and go about with face-whatever-it-is attitude? Or having an attitude of chase-the-dream-till-u-attain-it no matter what injustice u do to current choices help?

These are best answered to urself and these answers is what will in some ways bring out the true character in u.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Divine trip

Well, as promised in my previous blog, I will dedicate this blog to what have I been doing ever since I reached this place - Pittsburgh. Actually not.. I will just blog the one which is worth a blog :)

What is there in starting a new program/study in life without paying a visit to almighty. To top it all, am in pittsburgh known for the SV (Sree venkateshwara/ Sree vishnu/ Sree Balaji) temple. It was last sunday when me and my room mates along with a couple of buddies had decided to visit the temple. We couldnt make it on that day thanks to the infrequent bus service by PAT.

So we did our home work, figured how to reach the place and then set out on our voyage on Tuesday. Within the first hour we knew it wasnt easy reaching there. We were lost and have changed 3 buses. Fortunately or Unforunately hit upon 9 other class mates in the third bus. They were also heading towards the temple. Our hopes brimmed up. According to what we had planned we were supposed to get down in Morovellie mall and take another bus towards the temple. But a few who joined us were informed that we could actually go upto Lewis (further up in the wrong directon!) and take a cab from there. As all others were heading there, we also decided to join them. Once we were in Lewis, the worst thing stuck us. No cab company/driver offered to come there to pick us and drop in the temple. We almost waited 3 hrs and were all set to head back home without paying the visit. It was just then we saw a cab coming in. The cab driver had promised us to make 3-4 trips to drop us all. In the midst of 2nd trip came the confusion. The driver acted cranky and said he would not be able to transport all of us. It is when we got a bit too anxious and decided that we leave the place (we were 4 of us who joined the other 9). The journey back home was filled with sad faces. We had done all the home work to reach the place but ended up not visiting the place. Thoughts like, would we have made it if we hadnt met up with the other 9 crept up. But then, there can be always if and buts... U never would have known what would have happened if we were going as planned.

On the journey back we decided that we will plan it exceedingly well the next day and come. The next day we left home at 8:00am. We were to reach the campus to get the bus. The bus which we were to take to campus didnt stop. We feared that it is going to be a repeat of the prev day. We hurriedly walked to campus, got the bus at 8:40 got down at Morovellie mall (not lewis this time :) ) got a connecting bus towards temple. The place the connecting bus had dropped us was abt a quarter mile or so from the temple. We started walking towards the temple. We were gleefully watching which diversion to take. It so happened that there was a private property and we thought that was the road to the temple. We stood there for sometime and later confirmed that it isnt and started moving ahead. The worst thing wa the owner of that private property had informed the police and the police came in within few minutes before we reached the temple. We had to explain to him that we were heading towards the temple and were lost and hence we were looking at that place etc..

After so much of drama we reached the temple, had a nice dharshan, (it felt like I was in India), a couple of plates full of prashadam (which served as b/f). Then we got the tamarind rice and yogurt rice and headed our way back towards the stop where we got down from the bus. On the way, we were lucky to meet a gentlemen in car (he was from India and studied in coimbatore, the place i live) offered us to give a lift to downtown. We gleefully accepted the offer, reahced downtown and then from there headed back home. We were @ home by 12:30. It was amazing that we made the whole trip in less than 4 hrs (including a 1.5 hr stay in temple).

On the hindsight, there were innumerable hurdles before we reached the temple. But we were rewarded for all those by Sree Balaji by sending a gentleman to give us a lift to get back home :)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

A Journey towards the west

Well this is my first blog and was urged to start one to record this eventful journey towards the west.

For the uninitialised, after my undergrad in BITS, I was bitten by the software bug and was in Bangalore (India) for 3 good years before I set on my journey towards the west for my graduate studies in Carnegie Mellon.

The preparation for this journey was indeed an eventful one and demands a seperate post. Anyhow, I will squeeze in the essentials here... With just 20 odd days after my last day at work to the day I had to fly, I realised that setting out on a journey for 2 years isnt that simple afterall.. I had to run around for my health checkup (and thanks to my root canal treatment to my tooth which ate up a good 2 weeks), collect international driver license, of all things learn cooking and what not... And add to all these the limit imposed by airlines not to carry more than 46 kgs. It is something like, I need to live for 2 years but I can carry just 40 odd kgs.. I spent most of the last hours in india weighing my bags and thinking whether to trust the weighing machine or not...

Well the D-day arrived and it was time for me to bid adieu to my parents in chennai (India) airport and enter for the much-talked about immigration checks. With long queues everywhere, I somehow thought is it that so many people really want to flee the country everyday? ridiculous. But I couldnt be complaining. Afterall even I was one among them. The immigrations happen, I meet a buddy from undergrad school, chat for a while, inform parents that I am about to take off, meet my to-be-roomie etc.. But still the clock didnt strike 1:45 - the departure of my lufthansa.

Finally, it did and I boarded the flight. When it was about to take off, I had all weird feelings about leaving the country etc.. But soon with those thoughts, I had slept. It was about 3:30 and worst of all things, the air hostess wakes me up and serves me dinner. I knew right then, my biological clock is going to go for a toss soon. But didnt bother much. Had the so called dinner and slept again. The sleep wasnt all that comfortable. The pricate travel buses in India had better push backs u know... And of all things i was in the middle seat.

After a 9.5 hrs long journey landed in Frankfurt, met a few of the buddies who were supposed to be travelling to my univ. My connection to philadelphia was 5.5 hrs after that. In that time we talked about everything on earth and at the back of my mind I was worried about just having 3 hrs for my immigration,customs and re-checkin in the connection from philadelphia to pittsburgh. But was just hoping for the best and was quite positive of making it.

It was when the worst thing had happened. The bomb scares in hiterto and other places had delayed my connection to philadelphia by 3 hours. I was wprried that I knew for sure I cannot make it to the next connecting flight - philadelphia to pittsburgh. Thankfully, I had a couple of buddies along with me in the same boat. Some solace u know... We were hungry and were served with a peice of bread and some meat. It yucked. One bite and the rest went directly to recycle bin.

After a 9 hour wait in frankfurt including a mini visa interview and every one around speaking in German, I was more than happy to leave the place. I had also changed the next connection from philadelphia to pittsburgh to a flight that would give me just 1.5 hrs for immigration and customs provided this flight reaches on time. For a change, there was a German (beautiful) lady (read babe) next to me. Thankfully she knew English and had a refreshing talk. It was nice to know about how they lived and how positive she takes a flight delay as. I had lots to learn from her. The chat with her made amends for the yucky flight food.

And by god's grace, the flight landed in philadelphia - the first smell of Uncle Sam's land - on time. With just 1.5 hrs left, I ran around to immigration. The person was sweet enough to complete it asap. And from there to baggage claim and surprisingly I identified my bags soon. Then to customs and then re-checkin. Then came the security check. The bomb scares were apparently tried out of some liquid. So they were very hard on liquids. I had to give away my deo and even my tooth paste. The best thing though was the security officer asking me the prescription for my tooth paste.

After running around all the places, I reached the next terminal to board my connection. The bad luck continued. The flight was again delayed - first by 40 min, then by another 40 and then by another 40 min. Then Finally when I boarded the flight, I thought it would all be fine and I will be in pittsburgh in an hour. It wasnt to be. The flight was stranded in runway for about 1 hr before it took off. All the waits and the long journey had tired me a lot and had a nice nap before I reached pittsburgh finally. The cool thing was it was still Aug 10. I started from India at 1:45 am Aug 10 (IST) and reached pittsburgh on Aug 10 at 11:15 pm (EST). Eventually, it turned out to be the longest August 10 I had.

Would blog the life out here in my next blog. Till then =;